生命的痕跡 Trace of Life

Trace of Life ...













生命的痕迹 ...

我要當班長

我要當班長

再和大家分享一件30年前發生在古晉中華小學第三校的真實故事 ...

開學的第一天，一年級黃班，七歲的小瓜們有的哭哭啼啼，有的四目環顧，有的滿腦狐疑，有的坐立難安，課室里小朋友們的吵鬧聲再加上家長們在窗口指指點點，嘀嘀咕咕聲，點綴着這美麗的，開學的第一天。

級任老師黃老師突然問，

“ 有那一位同學要當班長？”

“ 我 ！” 有一位同學把手舉得高高地說。

“ 很好，那么你知道甚麼是班長嗎？” 老師提高嗓門地問，課室里實在是太吵了。

“ 不知道 ！” 那位同學回答。

同學們大笑，窗外的家長们更是笑彎了腰。

但是，那位同學還是當上了班長，就因為他的直率，坦白和自我推薦。

一年後，進入二年級。由於當過了一年的班長，有了經驗，或許是服務表現也不差吧，就這樣那位同學又當多一年的班長。

再過一年後，進入三年級。開學的第一天，級任老師問： “同學們，有誰要當班長？”

“ 我要。 ” 那位有了兩年班長經驗的同學趾高氣揚地站起來說。

那時那刻，有一位女同學突然站了起來，很勇敢地說，

“ 老師，徐蔡斌不能當班長，因為他上課時老是講話!”

徐蔡斌/ 古晉 29.11.2008

人之初，性本善

人之初，性本善

“ 铃 ........... ”

古晋中华小学第三校上课的铃声划破了一个风和日丽的早晨。

课室里，由于老师还没来，同学们和往常一样，又吵又闹 ...

在其中一个座位上，有一位同学将书包翻来覆去地搜寻，将一本又一本的书本从书包里拿出来，又一本又一本地把书本放回书包里去，脸色苍白，眼角泛泪 ...

“ 你在找甚么？ ” 坐在旁边的同学问。

“ 我明明有把它放在书包里的啊？怎么会不见了呢？”

“ 甚么东西不见了？ ” 同学问。

“ 我的直笛不见了，等下上音乐课时该怎么办呢？”

“ ...................。 ” 同学无言。

突然间，同学将一支直笛递过来。

“你 ......... ? 这不是我的直笛啊？”

“ 这是我的直笛, 拿去。 ” 同学说。

“为甚么？”

“你拿去就是了。” 同学坚持说。

“ 那，等下你上音乐课时没有直笛怎么办？会给老师骂的呀。”

“ 我没关系，但是你就不可以。 ” 同学说。

“为什么？”

“ 因为你是班长 ... 。”


这是一个发生在20年前的真实故事。那位同学是担心班长可能会身为一班之长而又忘记带直笛上音乐课而被老师加重责罚，宁可自己挨老师的骂也要把直笛借给班长 ... 更或许是，我想太多了，其实那位同学只是很天真，很单纯地想把直笛借给班长 ...。

不管那位同学的动机是甚么，我每一次和朋友分享这个故事，就会再一次被感动 ... 赤子之心，让人汗颜。

徐蔡斌 / 古晋 28.11.2008

原來這就是部落格 ...

原來這就是部落格 ...

才不过两个多月前的我对部落格这个名词还很陌生(对不起啦，我就是那么的石器时代)。尽管现在对它的认知还是一知半解，但是已经可以把头抬高告诉人家我是“部落客”了啦。

设立部落格的缘起也是因为希望能和朋友，甚至是陌生人分享我平时做些甚么，想些甚么，特别是在社团社会工作方面。以前的我都是把相片一张张地电邮给在地球各个角落的朋友，很多时後其实是没有考虑到朋友是否愿意接受我的分享而一厢情愿地给他们猛发电邮的。结果是累了自己，还拖垮了朋友的电邮储存空间，我在想可能有些朋友甚至连打开我的电邮都懒就直接将我的邮件拖到废物处理箱也说不定。

但是，有了部落格就不同了。朋友现在有了选择权，若想知道我最近在搞些甚么，只要到我的部落格一游就一目了然，就算懒得理我也至少不会被我的电邮骚扰。

部落格还有更犀利的，那就是可以阅读到人家很棒很棒的心情感言，生活分享，知识宝库，当然还有很多很美很美的旅游照片。

小号手小齐对音乐的坚持，退休的阿娥老师对生活的执着，小泽与狗狗的人狗约定，小良的门诊，Kelly的妈妈经等...好多好多。原来这个世界上有那么多人在那么认真地渡过每一天，那么用心地过生活 ...

有的故事让我热泪盈眶，有的言论让我反省深思，有的感言让我感同身受，有的生活简直让我如同照镜 ...

原来这就是部落格...

徐蔡斌 / 古晋 27.11.2009

大媽的智慧 My Neighbor Auntie's Wisdom

大媽的智慧

我家后面空置好久的屋子在大约半年前终于有人搬了进来。

在短短数个月内，本来杂草丛生的后院就翻天覆地变成了“良田”。

这要归功于我这位新邻居大妈，一个在三四十年前嫁到马来西亚的宝岛姑娘。大妈说她是台南人。

哦，对了，大妈的媳妇也是台湾媳妇，来自台中。家婆和媳妇有时在后院聊天，传到耳中感觉 ... 嗯，好台湾。

大妈每天起早贪黑，拔草施肥，风雨无阻。有时半夜下来厨房喝口水时，还能见到大妈在昏暗的灯光下拔草。其实大妈的家境不错，孩子还是一名医生，我想大妈的勤奋已经成为她的生活习惯了。

大妈的园艺技能超赞，也不会吝啬和我分享她的心得，我家那几棵桑椹现在种得欣欣向荣，大妈给了我不少“贴士”。

大妈常把她劳动的成果从篱笆那儿塞过来，虽然一再婉拒，大妈还是乐此不疲。但是想想强硬地一再拒绝又怕会枉费大妈的一番好意，说不定还会给人家误会我这邻居自命清高呢! 人情这债啊我最怕欠人家，我篱笆这头也不时给大妈塞些东西过去，大妈也乐呵呵地一一收下，扯平了。

我常夸大妈很有本事，小小一个才不过数方尺的后院，经过她勤快的手指点了几下就魔术般地变成绿油油的菜园，看了让人满心欢喜。大妈谦虚地说，种菜只是个人兴趣，还说看到亲手栽种的蔬菜瓜果一天天地长大，心理就很满足，很有成就感。哈，难怪大妈每天都笑口常开。

大妈也常说自己种菜，即可运动流汗，又可天天吃到新鲜又没有农药的蔬菜，一举数得，何乐而不为？我想，大妈是个很有智慧的人。

今天下班回家，天空一片灰暗，又下着毛毛雨，看到大妈一个人又在菜园里劳动。

大妈的媳妇带着她的孙子回台湾省亲去了，家里比较冷清。突然有股想把大妈的菜园搬上我部落格的冲动，所以拿起相机就往她的后院猛拍。

“ 你在拍甚么？” 大妈笑嘻嘻地问我。

“ 哦，我想把你的菜园搬上我的部落格。” 我一边捕捉镜头，一边回应。

大妈似懂非懂地“ 哦 ...” 了一声。

我豪不客气地往大妈的菜园继续猛“咔喳” 。

雨越下越大，自觉镜头也捕捉够了，正想转身入屋 ...

“ 哎，等一下。来，这个新鲜的芥兰叶拿去。”

大妈的声音在耳边响起 ...

徐蔡斌 / 古晋 25.11.2008

My Neighbor Auntie's Wisdom

The long vacated building behind my house is finally taken about half a year ago and within this short period of time, its backyard has been transformed into a mini farm land, thanks to my neighbor auntie, a lady who has married to Malaysia more than 30 years ago from Taiwan, or Tainan to be more precise. And now her son has also married a girl from Taichung, Taiwan. Well, I guess it all runs in the family. One would have mistakenly thought that he has landed in Taiwan when overhearing the conversations between these two ladies in one lazy afternoon.

My neighbor auntie wakes up early and rests late everyday without fail, taking good care of her crops, rain or shine. Sometimes when I slipped into the kitchen for a midnight bite or sip, I could still see her rooting out the weed beneath the dusky light. In fact, my neighbor auntie is quite well off, one of her sons is a doctor, I guess it is just her habit to be so hardworking.

It is no secret that my neighbor auntie has got green fingers, and good thing she isn't shy to share her knowledge. My Mulberry Trees are flourishing, thanks to her useful tips.

My neighbor auntie also has a habit of sharing the fruits of her hard labor with my family which we find it very hard to resist. How could we turn down the kind gesture from a kind neighbor who just likes to share? But being a person who doesn't want or who doesn't want to be deemed to take advantage of other people, I give something back in return, well I guess we are equal.

Sometimes when we meet up at the backyards and over the fence, I would praise her about her green garden and tell her how much I enjoy looking at it. She would always smile at me and humbly says that planting vegetable is just her interest as it gives her a lot of pleasure and satisfaction when seeing the plants under her care grow and blossom. She says by keeping her self busy in the garden is also keeping herself healthy, as it is a good exercise and further the vegetable is also free from pesticide. I think my neighbor auntie is full of wisdom.

Today, upon returning home from work, the sky was grey and drizzling, and it did not come as a surprise when I saw my neighbor auntie was flexing her muscle in her garden again. Her daughter-in-law has gone back to Taiwan for a short visiting together with her grandson and it was very quiet at home. Suddenly, I had the urge of capturing her garden in my camera and post it on my blog. I didn't think twice and swiftly put my thought into action.

“What are you doing?” she asked me in her usual smile.

“Oh, I'm putting your garden onto my blog?” I answered while busy snatching pictures.

“ Oh, I see ...” she replied with puzzled expression on her face .

The rain was getting stronger ... and I thought I had taken enough pictures.

Just as I was about to turn back into my house. She said,

“Wait, come take this very fresh broccoli leaves.”

Oh man ...

Su Chua Phin / Kuching 25.11.2008

女儿的拥抱 My Daughter's Hug

女儿的拥抱

“Good night daddy， hug hug ... 。”

已经快九岁的女儿每天晚上睡觉前，只要我在家，都会习惯性地跑来给我一个拥抱，然后这样亲密地对我说。

这个平常不过的小动作却隐藏着亲子关系的大哲学。

若是以陪孩子的时间作为一位父亲是否关爱其孩子的唯一衡量，那我的成绩单肯定是惨不忍睹。

每个周末，甚至是工作天的时间似乎都被社团工作和活动所占据，尤其是捐血活动在这个11月分更是到了一个月办4次的极限， 占了这个月4/5个周日！这还只不过是福利组的活动而已呢，还有策划组，文教组，经济组，体育组，公关组，组织组，资讯组，培训组的活动呢？

到底是“公益”(社团社会工作)重要，还是“私益”(事业家庭生活)重要？这一直是我在问我自己的问题，或许这也是我一直在逃避回答的问题。

很多时候在快撑不下去的时後，我不停地告诉我自己 “徐蔡斌，你既然要接下团长这个职位，你就要无怨无悔地扮演好你身为团长的角色和职责，不然你就没有资格当华青团的团长 ...。”

... 望着女儿消失的背影，身上还有与她拥抱过留下的遗温，突然发觉我能给她的时间居然只是在那瞬间的拥抱而已。

有研究说过很多孩子在步入青春期时就会在感情上与父母渐渐疏远，父母说的都听不进去，朋友叫的却可以赴汤蹈火 ... 对父母的亲昵也会越来越淡。

渐渐地我的女儿也会因为我在她的朋友面前叫她的乳名而给我脸色看，也会开始觉得和爸爸在大庭广众牵手很别扭，也会慢慢地开始和我顶嘴，闹意见 ... 所以爸爸们，真的要珍惜这段与孩子们的甜蜜时光。

但是，扪心自问，我现在一个星期给了女儿多少个睡前拥抱？而女儿肯让我给她睡前拥抱的日子还剩多少？

徐蔡斌，你的女儿要找你来个睡前拥抱的时候，你在那里？

徐蔡斌/古晋 2008年11月22日

My Daughter's Hug

“Good night daddy, hug hug ... ”

Every night before her bed time, she never fails to give me a hug and says this to me in the sweetest voice any father could hear from his 8 years old daughter, if I'm at home, of course.

Beneath such a simple good night hug lies a great philosophy.

If a father's love for his daughter is only measured by the time he devoted to her, I must admit I have failed miserably, and shame on me.

Every weekend, and many a time, week days too, my schedules are full, especially during this month, we have 4 blood donation campaigns out of the 5 weekends this November could possibly offer. And even so, these are only our Welfare sub-committee's regular activities, what about the other activities by our Planning, Cultre & Education, Economy, Sports, Public Relation, Organisation, Information and Training & Development sub-committees?

Which one is more important, public welfare or own welfare? This is a question that always lingers on my mind which I have no answer, or maybe even refuse to answer.

When the going gets tough, I motivate myself by telling myself that “Hey, you ask for it and you better stay the course, otherwise you are not worthy of the position you are sitting on ... ”

... gazing at my daughter's receding figure, feeling the residual warmth that she has left on me, suddenly I realize that all the time I could give her is just that few seconds' hug.

Research says that many parents will lose their children's affections to their children's friends and peers when their children reach their adolescence, so I guess, sooner or later my daughter will show me her annoyance when I call her her nickname which used to be a sign of affection and bonding between me and her, she will push away my hand which reaches out for her in the public, she will start to talk back to me, object to everything I say ...

So to all the daddies, treasure the sweet moments with your children, while they still want to share them with you.

Nevertheless, I must search my own conscience, how many good night hugs have I given to my daughter every week? And how many days left while my daughter still allows me to give her a good night hug?

Hey Su Chua Phin, where were you when your daughter was searching for you for that good night hug?

Su Chua Phin / Kuching 22.11.2008

朋友，要懂得偶尔放缓一下生活的节奏，驻足欣赏周围的美景 ...

长在我家庭院的花儿在早晨的阳光下怒放。
The flowers in by garden.

现在的这一刻，是下一刻的历史 ...

My friends, thank you for walking into my life and creating a rainbow out of it ...

一个不起眼的墙角, 因为有了花草而亮丽起来。朋友，谢谢你也让我这平凡不过的人生七彩缤纷起来 ...

Having a "serious" discussion with a friend on where to eat during lunch break. This is how we abuse modern technology.

来回度步讲手机，好象是在谈着一笔大生意的老板，不小心被Bryan 偷“袭”(拍) 到。其实只是在和朋友谈中午去那里吃饭一些芝麻绿豆的琐碎事啦。

真是非常认真过生活喔 ...

(location : Sarawak State Library，Kuching. 砂拉越州图书馆，古晋. )

(photo courtesy of Bryan (Hong Kong)).

These orange colour flowers at my back yard greet me everyday, but i have no idea what it's called.
这爬满我屋后篱笆的花儿我叫不出名堂，但是它一点也不在意，不管是晴天还是雨天，他每天都对我展颜欢笑，我们是否能从中领悟到一些做人的哲学呢？

Spot the differences?

来，大家来玩一个游戏，轻松一下。
请问这两张图片共有几个不同点？